It's 10:18am est. I have already consumed 1170 calories!! Scary since the new goal for the day suggested by my doctor is only 1470. Can't get defeated. I am writing this to you so that I will have to be accountable for the rest of my choices for the day.
Hayden is throwing a little mini-fit in his play-pen next to me as I type this. He needs a change of scenery too.
We're going to get dressed and get out!!! Sounds like a good time to take a walk by the lake. Give him some fresh air and me a chance to burn some of those calories off!!
Ahhhh.........the joys of changing your life.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Seriously???
Saw my doctor today. She put me on steroids for shoulder and all over muscle and joint pain I've been having. She thinks I may have a special kind of arthritis that effects all of your joints and muscles rather than targeting just one spot. WHAT????? I'm 40. Arthritis???? WHAT???? Crap. They took blood, because it can be confirmed with a blood test. Should know Tuesday.
In the meantime, she also told me to cut my calories from 1636 to 1470 for my weight loss since my body seems to be responding slowly given all of the exercising I've been doing. 1470??? Can I function on that??
Well, that will be my goal number for tomorrow. Trying, trying trying to stay positive. Not necessarily succeeding today. Tomorrow will be better.
'night to you all!
In the meantime, she also told me to cut my calories from 1636 to 1470 for my weight loss since my body seems to be responding slowly given all of the exercising I've been doing. 1470??? Can I function on that??
Well, that will be my goal number for tomorrow. Trying, trying trying to stay positive. Not necessarily succeeding today. Tomorrow will be better.
'night to you all!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Little Girls....
Okay....this is not really "constructive" but I feel it must be said. "Little" girls who hang out in the work bathroom with their 1 year of work experience and 22 inch waist circumfrances have NO BUSINESS whining about how fat they are getting. You heard me....the girl used the word "fat" and I'm not making this up.....she probably weighs 100 pounds even and was 5' 5 inches tall!!!!!! What the hell must she have thought of me then, when she "body checked me"?? (I love that phrase...heard it on my new favorite show "Drop Dead Diva".)
For a minute a started to buy in to the whole show. I started to feel self conscious. I felt what little self esteem I do have draining from my body. The self loathing was working it's way in and I had to scream STOP!!! Don't you dare go there!!
You are making an effort. The results may not be totally visible to her little eyes yet, but you KNOW the results are coming. I walked back to my desk, chanting over and over....6 pounds gone. Blood pressure better. Skin looking good. Bloat feeling gone. Etc. Focus on the positive.
Don't let some little girl I've never even seen in the building before make me feel bad about myself. I heard a line somewhere that I love...."Why do we always compare our worst to everyone Else's best?".......that's what I was doing. Gotta stop. Can't let mini girl win. (Did she even know she was playing??) ;O)
For a minute a started to buy in to the whole show. I started to feel self conscious. I felt what little self esteem I do have draining from my body. The self loathing was working it's way in and I had to scream STOP!!! Don't you dare go there!!
You are making an effort. The results may not be totally visible to her little eyes yet, but you KNOW the results are coming. I walked back to my desk, chanting over and over....6 pounds gone. Blood pressure better. Skin looking good. Bloat feeling gone. Etc. Focus on the positive.
Don't let some little girl I've never even seen in the building before make me feel bad about myself. I heard a line somewhere that I love...."Why do we always compare our worst to everyone Else's best?".......that's what I was doing. Gotta stop. Can't let mini girl win. (Did she even know she was playing??) ;O)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Coupon Kitchen
One of my hobbies if you can believe it is "couponing". It's amazing how much I've been able to learn to save by using some proven couponing techniques. I've managed to reduce my household grocery bill (which includes paper, cleaning and personal hygiene products as well) from $800 a month to $450 a month.
I thought I would take the opportunity to share some recipes from the weeks finds....to show you how little you can spend and still make some healthy meals and treats! Each week you'll find the new recipes under the "Coupon Kitchen" header. (scroll down screen to find)
Todays treat is a spice muffin with "icing" for 145 calories. YUM!
Enjoy!!!
I thought I would take the opportunity to share some recipes from the weeks finds....to show you how little you can spend and still make some healthy meals and treats! Each week you'll find the new recipes under the "Coupon Kitchen" header. (scroll down screen to find)
Todays treat is a spice muffin with "icing" for 145 calories. YUM!
Enjoy!!!
Weigh In Update
Today is day 29 of the best of my life. It's also Tuesday....weigh in day. Today marked my 4th weigh in. I gained 1.6 pounds, making my one month total weight loss 6 pounds even.
Now....while I could EASILY get completely discouraged by this slow progress, I'm going to CHOOSE not to. Instead I'm going to focus on the wins.
I worked out 24 of the 29 days!! Walking a minimum of 3 miles per work out. that means I've walked at least 72 miles in the last month.....and I'm still breathing!!!! It didn't kill me after all. :O)
I'm making better food choices every day. Not perfect, but better.
My blood pressure is the best it's been (without medications) EVER! That's huge all by itself.
And the reality of my weight loss is this....6 pounds in one month equals an average weight loss of 1.5 pounds per week. While not stellar, it is sustainable. Isn't that what they say is a "healthy weight loss"?? YES. And that's what this whole journey is about.....getting and staying healthy. I guess I'm on my way. :O)
Now....while I could EASILY get completely discouraged by this slow progress, I'm going to CHOOSE not to. Instead I'm going to focus on the wins.
I worked out 24 of the 29 days!! Walking a minimum of 3 miles per work out. that means I've walked at least 72 miles in the last month.....and I'm still breathing!!!! It didn't kill me after all. :O)
I'm making better food choices every day. Not perfect, but better.
My blood pressure is the best it's been (without medications) EVER! That's huge all by itself.
And the reality of my weight loss is this....6 pounds in one month equals an average weight loss of 1.5 pounds per week. While not stellar, it is sustainable. Isn't that what they say is a "healthy weight loss"?? YES. And that's what this whole journey is about.....getting and staying healthy. I guess I'm on my way. :O)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Being Grateful...
My husband is an awesome man with a really keen insight, especially in to me! (There are days when I just hate that!!) :O) Yesterday on our ritual Sunday walk in the park he made the observation that I always seem to be longing for something.... That I don't seem happy. I was taken aback at first. How could he see that? I do such a great job of hiding those feelings....don't I? I guess not.
Because I never want to lie to this man, I had to find the courage to be totally honest. I had to admit that the more weight I gain, the less I like myself. The less I like myself, the more I look to "stuff" to fill me up. A new car.....a new pool......a new dress......STUFF. And not just any stuff. If I'm looking at a new car, I want to be looking at a BMW or Lexus rather than a Kia or Hundai. It doesn't necessarily make sense to any one else but me, but to me it does. It says I may be fat and have failed in that part of my life, but look....I'm doing so well in other parts. It doesn't make it real, but somehow it's been rationalized in my brain to seem normal. I think I've been doing it so long, that I no longer realized I was actually doing it. I didn't even know I was trying to overcompensate all of the time. But the minute Bruce made the observation....POW....it all came in to focus and suddenly I was present with my motives. I felt sick to my stomach.
I stopped and looked at my life. I have an amazing husband that loves me unconditionally. Truly, unconditionally. We have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. We have jobs. We built and live in a beautiful home. We are healthy. We have family and friends who love and support us. We have SO much. I am so grateful for all these blessings in my life. I lost sight of that when I got blinded by the negative feelings from the fat. I let it hurt my actual life. I gave it more power than I ever should have.
I'm taking that power back. One day at a time. One work out at a time. One better choice at a time. I'm waking up. It's scary, because it means saying all of these scary things out loud. But hiding it gave it power over me. I can't allow that to continue. This is my life.
Because I never want to lie to this man, I had to find the courage to be totally honest. I had to admit that the more weight I gain, the less I like myself. The less I like myself, the more I look to "stuff" to fill me up. A new car.....a new pool......a new dress......STUFF. And not just any stuff. If I'm looking at a new car, I want to be looking at a BMW or Lexus rather than a Kia or Hundai. It doesn't necessarily make sense to any one else but me, but to me it does. It says I may be fat and have failed in that part of my life, but look....I'm doing so well in other parts. It doesn't make it real, but somehow it's been rationalized in my brain to seem normal. I think I've been doing it so long, that I no longer realized I was actually doing it. I didn't even know I was trying to overcompensate all of the time. But the minute Bruce made the observation....POW....it all came in to focus and suddenly I was present with my motives. I felt sick to my stomach.
I stopped and looked at my life. I have an amazing husband that loves me unconditionally. Truly, unconditionally. We have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. We have jobs. We built and live in a beautiful home. We are healthy. We have family and friends who love and support us. We have SO much. I am so grateful for all these blessings in my life. I lost sight of that when I got blinded by the negative feelings from the fat. I let it hurt my actual life. I gave it more power than I ever should have.
I'm taking that power back. One day at a time. One work out at a time. One better choice at a time. I'm waking up. It's scary, because it means saying all of these scary things out loud. But hiding it gave it power over me. I can't allow that to continue. This is my life.
400 is our new number....
Check out the attached article from Prevention Magazine. (Click on Blog Title and it will take you to the Story) Talk about easy breakfast suggestions that will taste great and help us on our weight loss journey! My thanks to Kim for sharing the story!!
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